Fear The Snotrockets

 

I did something terrible tonight. Something that I’ve never done before and I feel very guilty about:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-05-22-Tweets-FL

 

But what was a Bumgarner/Walking Dead/Fear the Walking Dead fan to do? I follow so many Dead accounts on Twitter that there was no way I could mute them all and avoid spoilers. I knew that I could watch the Giants game after watching FearTWD (and okay I also watched the premiere of  AMC’s new show Preacher and it kicked ass too) and tally the snotrockets later. I still felt bad though about not watching Bumgarner’s start live. I blame ESPN and their Sunday 5:05 PM start, which actually started at 5:07 PM not that you would know if you were watching the game on TV:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-05-22-Tweets-FL-ESPN

 

Let us move on from dead and preaching and go right to the snotrockets. Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Sunday, May 22, 2016 at home vs. the Chicago Cubs:

 

  • W, 7.2 IP, 3 H, 0 R, 0 ER, 2 BB, 6 K, 15 SNR (snotrockets): 2 vs. lefties, 10 vs. righties, 3 other. 1 pre-game SNR. 1 glove SNR. 1 at-bat SNR. 2 double SNR.
  • Madison Bumgarner’s most prolific inning was the 1st in which he blew 4 snotrockets.
  • Bumgarner now with 94 snotrockets in the 2016 season.

 

One person who didn’t abandon Madison Bumgarner in his snotrocket revelry was @SanDiegoGiants. He stuck with Bumgarner for the rest of the game and got some great snotrocket screencaps while doing so. First snotrocket screencapped was a double one. The right nostril comes first:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-05-22-Double-Right

 

And then the left nostril:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-05-22-Double-Left

 

Bottom of the 2nd at-bat snotrocket:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-05-22-1

 

Gratuitous in-game interview snotrocket:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-05-22-2-Tweet

 

1-0 snotrocket in the top of the 6th:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-05-22-3

 

Top of the 7th snotrocket (also please take note of what Buster Posey is doing at home plate. That boy’s all catcher all the time):

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-05-22-4

 

One last snotrocket screencap of the game in the top of the 8th:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-05-22-5

 

It would be remiss of me not to mention that Bumgarner drove in the game’s only run himself. Pitch, hit, blow a snotrocket or fifteen of them…Madison Bumgarner can do it all:

Giants-2016-05-22-vs Cubs-Bumgarner-Double RBI

 

Madison Bumgarner’s next start should be Saturday, May 28, 2016. See you hear or on Twitter for all the exciting snotrocket actions.

Red Ass Snotrockets

 

Stop me if you’ve heard this before. Madison Bumgarner got mad at an opposing batter for something and words were exchanged and benches emptied. Not that I’m complaining though because this is, has and will always be my sentiments regarding Bumgarner:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-05-17-FL Tweet

 

It all turned out to be a lot of fuss over nothing. From the Padres mlb.com beat writer:

Giants-Bumgarner-Padres-Myers-Fight-2016

 

The funniest part of the whole rhubarb between the Giants and Padres was when the San Diego groundskeepers got between the late arriving bullpens and the scrum at home plate:

Giants-2016-05-17-vs Padres-Fight

 

Now on to more important matters. Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Tuesday, May 17, 2016 on the road vs. the San Diego Padres:

 

  • W, 9.0 IP, 5 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 0 BB, 11 K, 1 HR, 11 SNR  (snotrockets): 0 vs. lefties, 7 vs. righties, 4 other. 1 at-bat SNR.
  • Madison Bumgarner’s most prolific inning was the 4th in which he blew 3 snotrockets.
  • Bumgarner now with 79 snotrockets in the 2016 season.

 

Naturally since the Giants were in San Diego everyone’s favorite snotrocket screencapper @SanDiegoGiants was in attendance at the game and captured some fresh live snotrockets to the delight of all. However, capturing snotrockets in person proved to be more challenging than capturing them online:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-05-17-Tweet

 

Bumgarner not being cooperative:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-05-17-1-Tweet

 

Someone jumped the snotrocket gun:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-05-17-2-Tweet

 

Almost:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-05-17-3-Tweet

 

This one is just downright scary. I mean, it could be Bumgarner blowing a snotrocket. It could also be a demonic possession taking place on the field:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-05-17-5-Tweet

 

Finally, hard work and persistence paid off:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-05-17-6-Tweet

 

Bonus pic – Bumgarner has a word with home plate umpire Dale Scott:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-05-17-4-Umpire-Scott-Tweet

 

Madison Bumgarner’s next start should be this Sunday, May 22, 2016 at home vs. the Chicago Cubs. See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting snotrocket action.

Matinee Snotrockets

 

Today’s Wednesday matinee game with Madison Bumgarner on the mound got off to a bit of a rocky start, with Bumgarner loading up the bases and throwing 31 pitches in the 1st inning. Don’t blame Bumgarner though, it wasn’t his fault. Blame this troublemaker:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-05-11-Tweet

 

Thankfully I was able to get my priorities straight and start snotrocket tallying in the bottom of the 1st. I hate it when real life intrudes on more important things.

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Wednesday, May 11, 2016 at home vs. the Toronto Blue Jays:

 

  • ND, 6.2 IP, 3 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 4 BB, 5 K, 7 SNR (snotrockets): 0 vs. lefties, 2 vs. righties, 5 other. 1 pre-game SNR. 2 double SNR. 1 double blow SNR.
  • Madison Bumgarner’s most prolific inning was the 1st in which he blew 3 snotrockets.
  • Bumgarner now with 68 snotrockets in the 2016 season.

 

Everyone’s favorite snotrocket screencapper @SanDiegoGiants was on partial assignment today and thus was only able to capture one snotrocket. Fortunately for everyone it was a double snotrocket so we got two for the price of one. First the left nostril:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-05-11-Double-Left

 

And then the right nostril:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-05-11-Double-Right

 

Madison Bumgarner’s next start should be Tuesday, May 17, 2016 on the road vs. the San Diego Padres. See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting snotrocket action.

Metallic Snotrockets

 

It was Metallica night at AT&T Park tonight:

Giants-Metallica Night-2016

and the San Francisco Giants wore their black jerseys on Orange Friday to celebrate. I’m blaming these things (okay, Metallica playing the National Anthem was pretty cool and if I can find a clip somewhere later I’ll post a link to it) and also incessant boat footage on TV as the reasons for Madison Bumgarner’s woeful lack of snotrockets. Also, there was a paucity of wedgie picks and I’m blaming that on possible new underwear for Bumgarner. If you think I’m really stretching for something to post about you’re right. When there’s so few snotrockets the world is a little more empty, lonely and cruel.

Update: Here’s a link to a video of Metallica playing the National Anthem. Enjoy: https://www.facebook.com/Giants/videos/10153533679366828/

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Friday, May 6, 2016 at home vs. the Colorado Rockies:

 

  • W, 7.1 IP, 7 H, 4 R, 3 ER, 1 BB, 10 K, 4 SNR (snotrockets): 1 vs. lefties, 1 vs. righties, 2 other. 1 double SNR.
  • Madison Bumgarner’s most prolific inning was the 1st in which he blew 2 snotrockets.
  • Bumgarner now with 61 snotrockets in the 2016 season.

 

With so few Bumgarner snotrockets blown (or shown) @SanDiegoGiants made each one of his snotrocket screencaps count. Keys to the Game snotrocket:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-05-06-Keys To The Game-Tweet

 

Top of the 1st snotrocket:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-05-06-1

 

The always exciting double snotrocket appeared in the top of the 3rd inning. First the right nostril:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-05-06-Double-Right

 

And then the left nostril:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-05-06-Double-Left

 

There was a one and a half hour drought between Bumgarner snotrockets during the game:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-05-06-2-Tweet

 

BONUS BUMGARNER SCREENCAPS – Crotch Grab Edition:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-05-06-Crotch Grab

 

Juicy Loogie Edition:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-05-06-Loogie

 

The snotrockets, crotch grabs and loogies are crowd pleasers:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-05-06-Tweet-RolnSM-Man's Man- No Mani Pedi

 

Madison Bumgarner’s next start should be Wednesday, May 11, 2016 at home vs. the Toronto Blue Jays. See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting snotrocket action.

Saturated Snotrockets

 

Hey everybody guess what day it is:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-05-01-May Day Tweet

 

Lots of rain in New York today so at first it looked like the San Francisco Giants game against the New York Mets might be in jeopardy. And since Madison Bumgarner was scheduled to pitch that meant we might lose precious snotrockets as well. Our fears were for naught however as the game was played and the snotrockets were blown. Also included in this game were some of everyone’s new favorite (well, mine anyways), the wedgie pick:

 

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-05-01-Multiple Wedgie Picks-Tweet

 

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Sunday, May 1, 2016 on the road vs. the New York Mets:

 

  • W, 6.0 IP, 6 H, 0 R, 0 ER, 3 BB, 7 K, 10 SNR (snotrockets):  2 vs. lefties, 5 vs. righties, 3 other. 2 at-bat SNR. 2 double SNR.
  • Madison Bumgarner’s most prolific inning was the 6th in which he blew 3 snotrockets.
  • Madison Bumgarner now with 57 snotrockets in the 2016 season.

 

As in every Bumgarner outing @SanDiegoGiants was on point with his snotrocket screencaps. From the 1st inning, an early morning snotrocket:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-05-01-Tweet

 

Top of the 3rd at-bat snotrocket:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-05-01-1

 

Bottom of the 3rd on the mound snotrocket:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-05-01-2

 

Bottom of the 4th snotrocket:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-05-01-3

 

Another at-bat snotrocket, a sly one this time:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-05-01-4

 

One man begins to question his sanity:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-05-01-4-Tweet

 

Bumgarner celebrating his 100th pitch of the day with what else, a snotrocket:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-05-01-6

 

That particular snotrocket was especially, er, interesting:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-05-01-6-Tweet-Sensual Snotrockets

 

The 6th inning was Bumgarner’s most stressful and this was reflected in the snotrockets as two doubles were blown. The first pair came with 2 on and 2 out. The left nostril:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-05-01-7-Double-Left

 

And then the right nostril:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-05-01-7-Double-Right

 

Second pair, this time with the bases loaded. First the left nostril:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-05-01-5-Double-Left

 

And then the right one:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-05-01-5-Double-Right

 

Bonus Bumgarner screencap – FIRST WEDGIE PICK SCREENCAP OF THE SEASON:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-05-01-Wedgie Pick-Tweet

 

Madison Bumgarner’s next start should be Friday, May 6th, 2016 at home vs. the Colorado Rockies. See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting snotrocket action.

Wedgie Picks and Snotrockets

 

A new Madison Bumgarner stat?

Tweets-FL-Bumgarner-Wedgie Picks-2016

 

Er, maybe not.

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Monday, April 25, 2016 at home vs. the San Diego Padres:

 

  • W, 6.2 IP, 6 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 2 BB, 9 K, 12 SNR (snotrockets): 1 vs. lefties, 6 vs. righties, 5 other. 2 at-bat SNR.
  • Madison Bumgarner’s most prolific inning was the 6th in which he blew 4 snotrockets.
  • Bumgarner now with 47 snotrockets in the 2016 season.

 

Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on your feelings about such things) @SanDiegoGiants didn’t get photos of Bumgarner’s epic wedgie picks but he did get some damn fine snotrocket ones. Here’s an at-bat snotrocket from the 2nd inning:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-04-25

 

One strikeout, one snotrocket:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-04-25-1

 

Sneaky snotrocket from the 5th inning:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-04-25-2

 

Top of the 6th inning snotrocket:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-04-25-3

 

Bumgarner sneaking in one snotrocket before his at-bat:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-04-25-4

 

And one immediately after the at-bat:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-04-25-5

 

Madison Bumgarner makes his last snotrocket of the game a good one:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-04-25-6

 

Bonus Bumgarner pic:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-Dramatic Nose Wipe-2016-04-25-Tweet

 

Madison Bumgarner’s next start should be Sunday, May 1, 2015 on the road vs. the New York Mets. See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting snotrocket action.

Fruitless Snotrockets

 

Madison Bumgarner pitched extremely well tonight and the only things he has to show for it are a loss and some snotrockets. The San Francisco Giants have gone cold offensively, possibly because they were so offended by the Diamondbacks horrific new uniforms that their bats were stunned into silence. The hideousness of the DBacks new road unis may have had an additional effect on Bumgarner as well:

Tweets-FL-Bumgarner-Dry As A Bone-2016

 

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Wednesday, April 20, 2016 at home vs. the Arizona Diamondbacks:

 

  • L, 7.0 IP, 5 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 1 BB, 8 K, 5 SNR (snotrockets): 0 vs. lefties, 4 vs. righties, 1 other. 1 double SNR.
  • Madison Bumgarner’s most prolific innings were the 4th and 6th in which he blew 2 snotrockets per inning.
  • Bumgarner now with 35 snotrockets in the 2016 season.

 

Though the snotrockets were few and far between in tonight’s game @SanDiegoGiants managed to stay awake long enough to screencap some nice ones. Here’s one from the second inning:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-04-20

 

And one from the 6th inning:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-04-20-1

 

There was also this:

Tweets-SanDiegoGiants-Bumgarner-Weird Picture

 

Madison Bumgarner’s next start should be Monday, April 25, 2016 at home vs. the San Diego Padres. See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting snotrocket action.

 

One more thing. Look at it:

Giants-Bumgarner-Game Avatar-2016-1

 

LOOK AT IT:

Giants-Bumgarner-Game Avatar-2

Defenseless Snotrockets

 

Not Madison Bumgarner’s night. Not the San Francisco Giants night. And definitely not the Giants defense’s (defense? defense’s? defensivenesslessnessess?) night as they made 3 errors behind Bumgarner. Feh.

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Friday, April 15, 2016 on the road vs. the Los Angeles Dodgers (eeuuwww):

 

  • L, 5.0 IP, 8 H, 7 R, 4 ER, 1 BB, 7 K, 2 HR, 9 SNR (snotrockets): 1 vs. lefties, 4 vs. righties, 4 other. 1 double SNR. 1 at-bat SNR. 2 dugout SNR.
  • Madison Bumgarner’s most prolific inning was the 4th in which he blew 4 snotrockets.
  • Bumgarner now with 30 snotrockets in the 2016 season.

 

With no victory, few runs and some ugly defense the snotrockets are the only joy that we can take away from tonight’s game. Fortunately for us @SanDiegoGiants made no errors in his snotrocket screencapping and came up with some good ones. Here’s a snotrocket from the 4th inning:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-04-15

 

Close up snotrocket from the same inning:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-04-15-1

 

Giants 1 – Chavez Latrine Boys 2 snotrocket:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-04-15-2

 

Gratuitous ear dig tweet and pic:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-04-15-Ear Dig

 

Bumgarner vents his feelings about his teammates defensive woes and lays down a double snotrocket. First the left nostril:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-04-15-3

 

Bumgarner still venting, this time out of his right nostril:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-04-15-4

 

Madison Bumgarner’s next start should be next Wednesday, April 20th, 2016 at home vs. the Arizona Diamondbacks. See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting snotrocket action.

Clayton Kershaw Hates Snotrockets

 

Madison Bumgarner hit his second career home run off of Clayton Kershaw today. Understand that no other pitcher has hit even one homer off Kershaw. Bumgarner has two in his career. TWO. BUMGARNER WITH TWO CAREER BOMBS OFF KERSHAW. Take a look at the one he hit today   (I apologize for the poor quality of the gif):

Giants-2016-04-09-vs Dodgers-Bumgarner-Home Run-Kershaw

 

As you can imagine Kershaw wasn’t too thrilled when the ball left the yard:

Giants-Dodgers-Bumgarner-Kershaw-HR-Fucking Shitting Me

 

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for April 9, 2016 at home vs. the Los Angeles Dodgers (eeuuwww):

 

  • ND, 6.0 IP, 6 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 1 HBP, 8 K, 10 SNR (snotrockets): 1 vs. lefties, 4 vs. righties, 5 other. 1 pre-game SNR. 2 dugout SNR. 1 glove SNR.
  • Madison Bumgarner’s most prolific inning was the 3rd in which he blew 3 snotrockets.

 

Imagine my Panik panic when I received this tweet from @SanDiegoGiants right before the game:

Tweets-SanDiegoGiants-On Assignment-2016

 

Not to worry though, the accomplished snotrocket screencapper came through after all with some great pics of Bumgarner doing his thing. Here’s a snotrocket from the 4th inning:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-04-09

 

Close-up snotrocket a moment later:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-04-09-1

 

Long view snotrocket from the 6th inning:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-04-09-2

 

Madison Bumgarner’s next start should be Friday, April 15, 2016 on the road vs. the Los Angeles Dodgers (eeuuwww). See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting snotrocket action.

2016 Opening Day Snotrockets

 

The Walking Dead’s season 6 finale episode aired last night and I don’t care what anyone else says: it did not disappoint. If you’re one of those petulant children still whining about the cliffhanger then move along son, I’ve no use for you. Any dismay at not instantly finding out who died in last night’s episode was completely obliterated by the awesome performance of Jeffrey Dean Morgan as Negan. He knocked it out of the park (pun intended) with his portrayal of Negan. He was funny, menacing and charismatic  all at the same time, just like in the comics. I wanted to hate him but I couldn’t. He was just too damn charming. I cannot wait for season 7.

But wait, you say, I thought this blog was about baseball or more specifically about Madison Bumgarner’s snotrockets? Of course it is and snotrockets are a comin’. It’s just that I’m still reeling from finally getting to see Negan (and Lucille!) in The Walking Dead. Plus, as I’ve noted before (here and also here) San Francisco Giants baseball and Bumgarner’s snotrockets always seem to arrive just in the nick of time to help me with my zombie withdrawals. So my two loves, Giants baseball and The Walking Dead, go hand in hand. Just like Negan and his beloved Lucille:

TWD-Negan-7

 

And now on to the mucus. Madison Bumgarner got the Opening Day start and while he was a little rocky (understandable as he was suffering from the flu), lasting only 5 innings, he still pitched well enough to get the win and blew enough snotrockets to satisfy all the fans. A true professional. Plus it doesn’t hurt a pitcher any when his teammates score 12 runs for him, right?

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for April 4th, 2016 on the road vs. the Milwaukee Brewers:

 

  • W, 5.0 IP, 5 H, 3 R, 3 ER, 5 BB, 6 K, 2 HR, 11 SNR (snotrockets): 0 vs. lefties, 5 vs. righties, 6 other. 2 glove SNR. 1 at-bat SNR.
  • Madison Bumgarner’s most prolific inning was the 1st in which he blew 5 snotrockets.

 

You know what’s coming next. You waited for them all winter long. You longed for them. You dreamed about them. You said your prayers to the gods that @SanDiegoGiants would dust off his snotrocket screencapping machine in time and produce those fine snotrocket screencaps that we have all come to know and appreciate. Your prayers have been answered and you don’t have to wait any longer HERE THEY ARE [raucous crowd cheering noises]

Bumgarner’s first snotrocket of the game:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-04-04

 

A more traditional front view snotrocket:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-04-04-1

 

Another sneaky snotrocket filmed from behind:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-04-04-2

 

Side view beauty snotrocket from the 3rd inning:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-04-04-3

 

And a couple of seconds later everyone’s favorite, the glove snotrocket:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-04-04-3-Glove

 

Baseball is back, Bumgarner’s snotrockets are back and all is right with the world. Madison Bumgarner’s next start should be this Saturday, April 9, 2016 at home vs. the Los Angeles Dodgers (eeuuwww). Giants be doing this to the Dodgers this weekend:

TWD-Negan-Kills

 

See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting snotrocket action!

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