Let There Be Snotrockets

 

In the beginning Madison Bumgarner created the inning and the game. And the game was without mucus, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the baseball diamond. And the spirit of Bumgarner moved upon the face of the ballpark. And Bumgarner said, let there be snotrockets: and there were snotrockets. And Bumgarner saw the snotrockets, and they were good.

Finally we had snotrockets. FINALLY. After going through an 11 inning snotrocket (thru 3 games) drought Madison Bumgarner broke free of the nasal handcuffs and blew some snotrockets tonight. After the first 4 innings of tonight’s game went by and nary a snotrocket was seen I was a little concerned:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-07-22-Tweet-FL

 

But then in the 5th inning

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-07-22-Tweet-FL-1

 

After the worst snotrocket drought ever witnessed Madison Bumgarner moistened up and let the secretions fly. I once again have a reason to live.

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Friday, July 22, 2016 on the road vs. the New York Yankees:

 

  • ND, 7.0 IP, 7 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 3 BB, 6 K, 2 SNR (snotrockets): 0 vs. lefties, 0 vs. righties, 2 other.
  • Madison Bumgarner’s most prolific innings were the 5th and 6th in which he blew 1 snotrocket per inning.
  • Bumgarner now with 163 snotrockets in the 2016 season.

 

Bumgarner’s nose drought over the past several games left @SanDiegoGiants with zero material to work with. In fact he was so desperate during Bumgarner’s last dry start that he screencapped a random body part:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-07-22-Elbow

 

 

But like the champ that he is Madison came through in tonight’s game and so did everyone’s favorite snotrocket screencapper. From the 5th inning:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-07-22

 

In the 6th inning:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-07-22-1

 

Aren’t they beautiful? [cries]

Madison Bumgarner’s next start should be Wednesday, July 27. 2016 at home vs. the Cincinnati Reds. See you here or on Twitter for all the snotrocket action.

Sign of the Snotrocketalypse

 

One outing. No snotrockets. End times.

The first recorded outing of Madison Bumgarner where he started a game and produced zero snotrockets on camera. None. Nada. Zilch. This was a terrible night.

When the first couple of innings went by and no snotrockets appeared I wasn’t too worried because sooner or later Bumgarner always comes through with some nasal beauties. But as the game progressed and still no snotrockets were blown you could witness my growing Panik panic on Twitter:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-07-15-Tweet-FL

—–

 

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-07-15-Tweet-FL-1

—–

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-07-15-Tweet-FL-3

—–

 

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-07-15-Tweet-FL-4

—–

 

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-07-15-Tweet-FL-5

—–

 

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-07-15-Tweet-FL-6

 

 

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Friday, July 15, 2016 on the road vs. the San Diego Padres:

 

  • L, 6.0 IP, 7 H, 4 R, 4 ER, 1 BB, 9 K, 2 HR, 0 SNR (snotrockets): 0 vs. L, 0 vs. R, 0 other.
  • Madison Bumgarner’s most prolific inning didn’t happen because there weren’t any freaking snotrockets blown.
  • Madison Bumgarner still with 161 snotrockets in the 2016 season.

 

Even though there were no official (on camera) snotrockets recorded in tonight’s game America’s favorite snotrocket screencapper @SanDiegoGiants still captured a couple because he was at the game. Sneaky snotrocket:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-07-15-Tweet-SanDiegoGiants

 

Sneaky snotrocket #2:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-07-15-1-Tweet

 

@SanDiegoGiants partner in crime @Iamjerklord tried her hand at snotrocket screencapping, with mixed results:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-07-15-2-Tweet

 

Bonus Bumgarner screencaps – fowl edition #1:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-07-15-Bird

 

Fowl edition #2:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-07-15-Tweet-SanDiegoGiants-Bird

 

Snotrocket screencapper on safari edition:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-07-15-Tweet-SanDiegoGiants-In The Wild

 

HE CAN SEE ME edition:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-07-15-Tweet-IAmJerklord

 

The best tandem in baseball edition:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-07-15-Posey-Bumgarner-1

 

Madison Bumgarner’s next start should be Friday, July 22, 2016 on the road vs. the New York Yankees. See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting snotrocket action.

Please God, let there be snotrockets. Amen.

2016 All Star Game Snotrockets

 

There weren’t any.

One Hit And Several Snotrockets Ago

 

Madison Bumgarner’s latest attempt at a no-hitter was foiled in the 8th inning yesterday by the Arizona Diamondbacks’ Jake Lamb. It was the only hit that Bumgarner gave up in a complete game win.

Tweets-FL-Lambs

Since yesterday’s game was the dreaded 5:05 PM start on ESPN you know there had to be plenty of talk about shadows and ESPN in general

Tweets-FL-Whine ESPN

 

Tweets-FL-In Game Interviews

 

Tweets-FL-ESPN Bullshit

 

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Sunday, July 10, 2016 at home vs. the Arizona Diamondbacks:

 

  • W, 9.0 IP, 1 H, 1 BB, 0 R, 0 ER, 14 K, 8 SNR (snotrockets): 1 vs. lefties, 3 vs. righties, 4 other.
  • Madison Bumgarner’s most prolific inning was the 4th in which he blew 3 snotrockets.
  • Bumgarner now with 161 snotrockets in the 2016 season.

 

Everyone’s favorite snotrocket screencapper @SanDiegoGiants was on assignment yesterday so there are no snotrocket screencaps to dazzle your eyes. There was this though:

Tweets-No NoNo Bumgarner-1

Tweets-No NoNo Bumgarner

 

So bottom line: even if there were no snotrocket screencaps and no no-no we still got to see Madison Bumgarner pitch one heck of a game. Which is nice.

Madison Bumgarner’s next start should be Friday, July 15, 2016 on the road vs. the San Diego Padres. See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting snotrocket action.

Sporadic Snotrockets

 

Tonight’s San Francisco Giants game had a weird vibe to it early on. Madison Bumgarner pitched well so that wasn’t it. The Giants had some great defensive plays so that wasn’t it either. So what had me feeling all hinky about tonight’s game?

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-07-05-Tweet

 

Oh yeah.

It wasn’t just me either. Bumgarner’s mucus deficiency had everyone concerned:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-07-05-Tweet-2

 

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Tuesday, July 5, 2016 at home vs. the Colorado Rockies:

 

  • ND, 6.0 IP, 4 H, 0 R, 0 ER, 2 BB, 6 K, 3 SNR (snotrockets): 0 vs. lefties, 1 vs. righties, 2 other. 1 at-bat SNR. 1 on-base SNR.
  • Madison Bumgarner’s most prolific inning was the 6th in which he blew 2 snotrockets.
  • Bumgarner now with 153 snotrockets in the 2016 season.

 

Even though the snotrockets were incredibly few and far between everyone’s favorite snotrocket screencapper @SanDiegoGiants still managed to capture a beauty in the bottom of the 6th inning:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-07-05-1-Tweet

 

Bonus Bumgarner screencap: post wipe edition with a slight edit by me because Rockies catcher Nick Hundley kept jawing at Angel Pagan after Pagan struck out and also because Hundley’s face:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-07-05-Tweet-Hundley Face

 

Madison Bumgarner’s next start should be this Sunday, July 10, 2016 at home vs. the Arizona Diamondbacks. See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting snotrocket action.

Snotrocketing on the DH

 

The San Francisco Giants were on ‘the road’ tonight, road being just a stone’s throw from AT&T Park. The Oakland A’s hosted the Giants and Madison Bumgarner. SF manager Bruce Bochy decided to forego the DH in the AL park and let Bumgarner hit for himself. Those poor A’s never stood a chance.

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Thursday, June 30, 2016 on the road vs. the Oakland A’s:

 

  • W, 6.1 IP, 7 H, 4 R, 4 ER, 0 BB, 4 K, 2 HR, 9 SNR (snotrockets): 2 vs. lefties, 3 vs. righties, 4 other.
  • Madison Bumgarner’s most prolific inning was the 6th in which he blew 3 snotrockets.
  • Bumgarner now with 150 snotrockets in the 2016 season.

 

Designated hitter hater  @SanDiegoGiants once again produced some high quality snotrockets for the fans to enjoy. Third K snotrocket in the 3rd:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-06-30

 

Brandon Crawford and Angel Pagan racing in to witness some Bumgarner magic but they just missed it:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-06-30-1

 

Madison Bumgarner with a couple of back to back snotrockets:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-06-30-2

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-06-30-3

 

 

Bumgarner expressed his feelings regarding the designated hitter:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-06-30-4-Tweet

 

One last snotrocket for the road:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-06-30-5

 

Bonus Bumgarner screencaps – Wet loogie edition:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-06-30-Loogie-Tweet

 

New Bumgarner stat, edition #1:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-06-30-Eye Pick-Tweet

 

New Bumgarner stat, edition #2:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-06-30-Ear Goo-Tweet

 

Ban the DH:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-06-30-DH

 

And last but not least,  Madison “Screw Your DH” Bumgarner of course got a hit in his first at bat, a booming double to center field:

Giants-2016-06-30-vs Athletics-Bumgarner-Double

 

Madison Bumgarner’s next start should be Tuesday, July 5, 2016 at home vs. the Colorado Rockies. See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting snotrocket action.

Phear The Snotrockets

 

The Phillies were in town. Madison Bumgarner was on the mound. Snotrockets were in the air. It was a magical night. Of course it would have been more magical if the Giants had actually won the game but we can’t have everything can we.

What we can always have when Bumgarner pitches are his pièce de résistance: the snotrockets. Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Saturday, June 25, 2016 at home vs. the Philadelphia Phillies:

 

  • L, 6.1 IP, 5 H, 3 R, 3 ER, 1 BB, 7 K, 1 HR, 11 SNR (snotrockets): 0 vs. lefties, 10 vs. righties, 1 other.
  • Madison Bumgarner’s most prolific innings were the 1st, 3rd, 4th and 5th innings in which he blew 2 snotrockets per inning.
  • Madison Bumgarner blew at least 1 snotrocket in every inning he pitched tonight.
  • Bumgarner now with 141 snotrockets in the 2016 season.

 

@SanDiegoGiants phound the time to capture some phabulous Bumgarner snotrockets (I’ll stop with the ph stuff now). Top of the 3rd snotrocket:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-06-25

 

Snotrocket screencapping can sometimes produce unwanted side effects:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-06-25-1-Tweet

 

Bumgarner always finds new ways to entertain his fans:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-06-25-2-Tweet

 

Top of the 5th inning snotrocket:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-06-25-3

 

Bumgarner’s newest nose fad has found its biggest fan:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-06-25-4-Tweet

 

One fan finds her own Bumgarner nose delight:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-06-25-Tweet-Jerklord

 

Frightening moment in tonight’s Giants broadcast:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-06-25-Tweet-FL-Screen

 

Madison Bumgarner’s next start should be Thursday, June 30, 2016 on the road vs. the Oakland A’s. See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting snotrocket action.

Shiver Me Snotrockets

 

The San Francisco Giants, hot on the heels of an 8 game winning streak, made their way into Pittsburgh today to face the Pirates. Madison Bumgarner pitched beautifully, with a complete game and only 1 run given up. Unfortunately the Giants didn’t score any runs and Bumgarner took a undeserved loss. Arrrrr.

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Monday, June 20, 2016 on the road vs. the Pittsburgh Pirates:

 

  • L, 8.0 IP, 5 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 2 BB, 8 K, 1 HR, 5 SNR (snotrockets): 0 vs. lefties, 3 vs. righties, 2 other.
  • Madison Bumgarner now with 130 snotrockets in the 2016 season.

 

Scurvy dog @SanDiegoGiants did th’ ship and captured some hearty snotrockets for you scallywags. One lone snotrocket in the 4th inning:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-06-20

 

Bumgarner’s low snotrocket output in tonight’s game was worrisome:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-06-20-1-Tweet

 

6th inning snotrocket:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-06-20-2

 

Bumgarner gave his all in this game but his teammates couldn’t reciprocate:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-06-20-3-Tweet

 

Bonus screencaps – Loogie Edition:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-06-20-Loogie

 

Belt Makes A Baserunning Error And His Manager Isn’t Pleased Edition:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-06-20-Bochy-Belt Murder

 

Madison Bumgarner’s next start should be Saturday, June 25, 2016 at home vs. the Philadelphia Phillies. See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting snotrocket action.

Velveeta Snotrockets

 

Madison Bumgarner vs. the Milwaukee Brewers. Snotrockets and beer. No? Okay, how about snotrockets and nachos:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-06-14-Tweet-Jerklord

 

Sorry for ruining nachos for you forever. Never fear, there’s always sardines:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-06-14-Tweet-FL-Sardines

 

Sorry for ruining sardines for you too.

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Tuesday, June 14, 2016 at home vs. the Milwaukee Brewers:

 

  • W, 8.0 IP, 4 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 1 BB, 8 K, 1 HR, 10 SNR (snotrockets): 2 vs. lefties, 5 vs. righties, 3 other. 1 pre-game SNR. 1 at-bat SNR. 1 double SNR.
  • Madison Bumgarner’s most prolific innings were the 2nd and 6th innings in which he blew 2 snotrockets per inning.
  • Madison Bumgarner now with 125 snotrockets in the 2016 season.

 

Nachos fetcher @SanDiegoGiants came up with some great snotrocket screencaps tonight. First up: Keys to the Game:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-06-14-Keys To The Game

 

Top of the 2nd snotrocket:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-06-14-1

 

Bottom of the 5th at-bat snotrocket:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-06-14-2

 

75 pitches, 1 perfect snotrocket:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-06-14-3

 

All tied up snotrocket:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-06-14-5

 

Madison Bumgarner with a great game tonight, pitching and snotrocketing wise:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-06-14-Tweet-SanDiegoGiants

 

Bonus screencap – Matt Duffy snotrocket edition:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-06-14-Duffy Snotrocket

 

Madison Bumgarner’s next start should be Monday, June 20, 2016 on the road vs. the Pittsburgh Pirates. See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting snotrocket action.

Snotrocketing on the Sox

 

The Boston Red Sox were in town, just for the honor of witnessing some Madison Bumgarner snotrockets. Oh yeah and there was a game played too.

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Wednesday, June 8, 2016 at home vs. the Boston Red Sox:

 

  • ND, 6.0 IP, 4 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 5 K, 1 HR, 6 SNR (snotrockets): 1 vs. lefties, 1 vs. righties, 4 other. 1 pre-game SNR. 1 double SNR.
  • Madison Bumgarner’s most prolific inning was the 3rd in which he blew 2 snotrockets.
  • Madison Bumgarner now with 115 snotrockets in the 2016 season.

 

Here to knock your Sox off is @SanDiegoGiants with some terrific snotrocket screencaps. Pre-game snotrocket:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-06-08

 

One man questions if he is in his right mind:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-06-08-Double-Tweet

 

And of course since it was a double snotrocket we get closeups. First the left nostril:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-06-08-Double-Left

 

And then the right nostril:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-06-08-Double-Right

 

Top of the 3rd inning snotrocket:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-06-08-1

 

Bumgarner only gave up 1 run in tonight’s game, a solo homer. Didn’t faze him at all:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-06-08-2-Tweet

 

The Giants first run of the night was a Brandon Belt homer into McCovey Cove, the first splash hit in a long time. Bumgarner celebrated thusly:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-06-08-3-Tweet

 

Hey wait is that Bumgarner going in the water after that HR ball?

Giants-Belt-Splash 69-Fan-Water-2016-06-08

 

Bonus screencaps: Sensual Baseball edition:

Giants-AT&TPark-2016-Splash 69

 

Tweets-FL-Tossed Salad-2016-06-08

 

Madison Bumgarner’s next start should be Tuesday, June 14. 2016 at home vs. the Milwaukee Brewers. See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting snotrocket action.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

%d bloggers like this: