Glove Snotrockets

 

Today’s game saw, to the best of my snotrocket knowledge, a first in Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket repertoire. A glove snotrocket. Wait, make that two glove snotrockets. What’s a glove snotrocket you say? Read on and discover. I mean, discover after the game totals.

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Thursday, May 21, 2015 at home vs. the Los Angeles Dodgers (eeuww):

 

  • W, 6.1 IP, 7 H, 0 R, 0 ER, 2 BB, 6 K, 9 SNR (snotrockets): 3 vs. lefties, 5 vs. righties, 1 other. 1 pre-game SNR. 1 double SNR. 2 glove SNR.
  • Madison Bumgarner’s most prolific inning was the 1st in which he blew 3 snotrockets.
  • Madison Bumgarner has still not reached double digit snotrocket totals in any game this season.
  • Bumgarner now has 47 snotrockets so far this season.

 

Enough about the snotrocket stats, as scintillating as they are. How about some snotrocket screencaps? As always @SanDiegoGiants brought his A game and produced some fine SNR pics. He got Madison Bumgarner’s first pre-game snotrocket of the season and a double one at that:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2015-05-21

 

Whenever Bumgarner blows a double snotrocket I like to also include closeups because why not. Here’s the left nostril:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2015-05-21-Double-Left

 

And the right one:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2015-05-21-Double-Right

 

A from behind snotrocket in the 1st inning:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2015-05-21-1

 

This also happened in the 1st inning:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2015-05-21-2-Nose Pick

 

A snotrocket from the 2nd inning:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2015-05-21-3

 

And now what you’ve all been waiting for. The aforementioned GLOVE SNOTROCKET:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2015-05-21-4-Glove

 

Madison Bumgarner snotrocket enthusiasts, take note of the above photo. As far as I know it’s the first of its kind. Bumgarner has always used his (ungloved) left hand to blow a snotrocket. That is until yesterday’s game. For the first time ever (I’m calling it) Bumgarner used his gloved hand to blow a snotrocket. All these years of counting Bumgarner snotrockets and I’ve never seen this until yesterday. History was made and I got to witness it as it happened. I am blessed.

Now back to the regular everyday garden variety snotrockets. One from the 3rd inning:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2015-05-21-5

 

That last snotrocket was a cause for me to forget my recent worries over Bumgarner’s lack of snotrockets lately and just simply rejoice:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2015-05-21-Tweet

 

A snotrocket from the 4th inning:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2015-05-21-6

 

Bumgarner didn’t limit his magnificence yesterday to snotrockets. He also hit a home run. Off of Clayton Kershaw no less. Kershaw had never given up a home run to an opposing pitcher until yesterday. Hahahahaha DODGERS SUCK:

Giants-Bumgarner-Home Run-2015-05-21

 

While Bumgarner didn’t reach double digit snotrocket totals in yesterday’s game he did blow more SNRs than in any other game this season. Also in yesterday’s game I noticed that Bumgarner’s hair was a bit shorter. These two facts combined scientifically prove what I’ve said before:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-Tweet-Long Hair-1-2015-05-21

 

Madison Bumgarner’s next start should be Tuesday, May 26, 2015 on the road vs. the Milwaukee Brewers. See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting snotrocket action.

Midwestern Snotrockets

 

The problem with waiting too long to write these blog posts is that I forget a lot of what happened in the game. BUT DAMN IT I’M NOT A WRITER I’M A SNOTROCKET TALLIER.

Suffice to say that the San Francisco Giants prevailed, Madison Bumgarner got the win and there were snotrockets.

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Friday, May 15, 2015 on the road vs. the Cincinnati Reds:

 

  • W, 7.0 IP, 8 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 0 BB, 4 K, 2 HR, 6 SNR (snotrockets): 1 vs. lefties, 3 vs. righties, 2 other. 1 double SNR.
  • Madison Bumgarner’s most prolific innings were the 1st and 3rd in which he blew 2 snotrockets per inning.
  • Bumgarner now with 38 snotrockets so far in the 2015 season.
  • Bumgarner has yet to reach double digit snotrockets this season.

 

As you can tell by the above stats Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket decline continues. No one knows what to make of this. It’s all very puzzling and somewhat depressing. So let’s take our mind off the snotrocket sadness and cheer ourselves up with some fine snotrocket screencaps. @SanDiegoGiants came to our rescue and tweeted out some dandies after the game. Here’s one from behind in the 1st inning:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2015-05-15

 

Also from the 1st inning:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2015-05-15-1

 

A long-distance snotrocket during the 3rd inning:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2015-05-15-2

 

A shy snotrocket from the 3rd inning:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2015-05-15-3

 

So calm your nostrils, Bumgarner’s still blowing snotrockets. Just not as many as he has in years past. We must all try to be brave, and strong, not Panik panic and hope for more copious Bumgarner mucus magic soon.

Madison Bumgarner’s next start should be Thursday, May 21, 2015  at home vs. the Los Angeles Dodgers (eeuww). See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting snotrocket action.

Sluggish Snotrockets

 

A short outing for Madison Bumgarner. A loss for Madison Bumgarner. A paucity of snotrockets for Madison Bumgarner. Three strikes and I’m out for the night.

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Saturday, May 9th, 2015 at home vs. the Miami Marlins:

 

  • L, 5.0 IP, 5 H, 3 R, 3 ER, 2 BB, 10 K, 1 HR, 4 SNR (snotrockets): 2 vs. lefties, 1 vs. righties, 1 other. 1 double SNR.
  • Madison Bumgarner now with 32 snotrockets so far in the 2015 season.

 

This game was a snoozer. The only thing to liven it up were the snotrocket screencaps provided by @SanDiegoGiants. Here’s a double snotrocket from the 1st inning:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2015-05-09-Double

 

Regular ol’ garden variety single snotrocket from the 2nd inning:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2015-05-09-1

 

Classic closeup  snotrocket from the 4th inning:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2015-05-09-2

 

The last snotrocket of the game:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2015-05-09-3

 

Madison Bumgarner’s next start should be Friday, May 15th, 2015 on the road vs. the Cincinnati Reds. See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting snotrocket action.

No No-No Snotrockets

 

Madison Bumgarner came close to pitching a no hitter Monday night, losing his no hit bid in the 7th inning. Alas, he had to settle for a win and a shutout, with help from Sergio Romo and Santiago Casilla. Don’t worry about losing your no-hitter Bumgarner, your fans are sure you’ll get that no-no someday. Instead, worry about your declining snotrocket numbers. The lack of nasal projectiles has everyone perturbed. Your fans clamor for more snotrockets, Mr. Bumgarner. Please don’t disappoint them.

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Monday, May 4, 2015 at home vs. the San Diego Padres:

 

  • W, 7.1 IP, 2 H, 1 BB, 0 R, 0 ER, 6 K, 7 SNR (snotrockets): 0 vs. lefties, 2 vs. righties, 5 other. 1 double SNR. 1 on base SNR.
  • Madison Bumgarner’s most prolific innings were the 4th and 7th in which he blew 2 snotrockets per inning.
  • Bumgarner now with 28 snotrockets so far in the 2015 season.

 

Even though Bumgarner failed to reach double digit snotrockets for the 6th straight game everyone’s favorite snotrocket screencapper, @SanDiegoGiants, did not fail in capturing the best of Bumgarner’s nasal glory. Here’s his tweet showing the left and right shots of Bumgarner’s only double snotrocket of the game:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2015-05-04-Tweet

 

A real nose bender of a snotrocket:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2015-05-04-1

 

An on-base snotrocket from the 4th inning:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2015-05-04-2

 

The no-hitter was still intact when this snotrocket was blown:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2015-05-04-3

 

In the 7th inning the no-hitter was gone but the snotrockets remained:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2015-05-04-4

 

And one last snotrocket from the game:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2015-05-04-5

 

Madison Bumgarner’s next start should be Saturday, May 9th, 2015 at home vs. the Florida I mean Miami Marlins. See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting snotrocket action.

 

 

Snotrockets in Enemy Territory

 

Dodgers: beaten. Kershaw: defeated. Bumgarner: victorious. Snotrockets: blown. Dodger Stadium: toilet.

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Tuesday, April 28th, 2015 on the road vs. the Los Angeles Dodgers (eww):

  • W, 8.0 IP, 5 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 9 K, 5 SNR (snotrockets): 0 vs. lefties, 5 vs. righties, 0 other. 2 double SNR.
  • Madison Bumgarner’s most prolific inning was the 8th in which he blew 3 snotrockets.
  • Bumgarner now with 21 snotrockets so far in the 2015 season.

As you can see from the above stats Bumgarner is still outputting fewer snotrockets than usual. How much fewer? Take a look at the following year by year comparison. Madison Bumgarner SNR (snotrocket) totals, 1st five games by season:

  • 2015: 21 SNR
  • 2014: 55 SNR
  • 2013: 61 SNR
  • 2012: 63 SNR

How to explain this? Did Bumgarner get his deviated septum fixed? Is someone slipping some Zyrtec into his morning coffee? Has the drought in California dried up Madison’s mucus as well? Stay tuned.

Even though the low amount of Bumgarner snotrockets in Tuesday’s game had us all a little down @SanDiegoGiants cheered everyone up with some winning snotrocket screencaps. Here’s the first one of the game:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2015-04-28

 

A snotrocket from the 8th inning:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2015-04-28-1

 

A nice closeup snotrocket, also from the 8th inning:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2015-04-28-2

 

Another closeup snotrocket, a real nose twister this time:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2015-04-28-3

 

The rubber nose snotrockets are a bit disconcerting to some:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2015-04-28-Tweet

 

If you can’t see it here’s a lovely nose-bending snotrocket closeup:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2015-04-28-3-Zoom

 

There were so few snotrockets in Tuesday’s game that @SanDiegoGiants took to tweeting about Bumgarner’s hair:

Giants-Bumgarner-Hair-2015-04-28-Tweet

 

Bumgarner’s hair this season looks to be even longer than it was last year, causing me to make this completely unverified statement:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2015-04-28-Tweet-Long Hair

 

One last thing: WHAT IN GOD’S NAME OF ALL THAT IS HOLY AND PURE IS THIS:

Giants-Bumgarner-Kershaw-Jerseys-2015

That is just…it’s…I…no. Just no. Stop it stop it right now.

Madison Bumgarner’s next start should be Monday, May 4. 2015 at home vs. the San Diego Padres. See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting snotrocket action.

Slim Snotrockets

 

No the above title isn’t Madison Bumgarner’s new nickname (although it would make a good name for a country western singer, maybe). It’s just reflecting on the fact that another Bumgarner game with few snotrockets has come and gone. It’s starting to become something of a worrisome trend. If Bumgarner stops snotrocketing altogether I don’t know what I’ll do. COME BACK SNOTROCKETS, COME BACK.

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Wednesday, April 22, 2015 at home vs. the Los Angeles Dodgers (eww):

 

  • ND, 6.1 IP, 6 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 2 BB, 6 K, 1 HR, 5 SNR (snotrockets): 0 vs. lefties, 4 vs. righties, 1 other. 1 double SNR.
  • Madison Bumgarner’s most prolific inning was the 4th in which he blew 2 snotrockets.
  • Bumgarner now with 16 snotrockets so far in the 2015 season.

 

So, not many snotrockets for Bumgarner but like the pro that he is @SanDiegoGiants captured some for posterity. Here’s one from the 3rd inning:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2015-04-22

 

And a nice one from the 4th inning:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2015-04-22-1

 

Madison Bumgarner’s next start should be Monday, April 27, 2015 on the road vs. the Los Angeles Dodgers (eww). See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting snotrocket action.

Oh wait I almost forgot. The night before Bumgarner’s start this happened:

 

Giants-Dodgers-Gonzalez-Snotrocket-Tweet-2015-04-21

 

You’re welcome. I mean, I’m sorry. I mean, come follow me on Twitter because I live tweet all the Bumgarner snotrockets. But not the Dodger ones (ewwww).

Wherefore Art Thou Snotrockets

 

Oh look it’s another “Giants lost, few snotrockets” post. Yay. I can never get enough of those.

It’s only the second week of the season and already I’m cranky and cynical. This is not good. That “3 World Series titles in five years” high didn’t last long. Or at least it lasted until the Giants slid right into a 7 game losing streak. Add to that the fact that Madison Bumgarner is apparently blowing fewer snotrockets this year (more on that later) and it totals up to one cranky Giants fan and snotrocket aficionado.

But on to more important matters. Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Thursday, April 16, 2015 at home vs. the Arizona Diamondbacks:

 

  • ND, 7.0 IP, 6 H, 4 R, 4 ER, 1 BB, 4 K, 2 HR, 1 HBP, 4 SNR (snotrockets): 0 vs. lefties, 2 vs. righties, 2 other. 1 double SNR.
  • Madison Bumgarner now with 11 snotrockets so far in the 2015 season.

 

Even though there weren’t many snotrockets in last night’s game @SanDiegoGiants still managed to come up with some great snotrocket screencaps. From Bumgarner’s double snotrocket in the fifth inning here’s the left side:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2015-04-16-1-Left Side

 

And here’s the right side:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2015-04-16-2-Right Side

 

And the last snotrocket of the game:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2015-04-16-3

 

There’s a mystery afoot, or anose, or whatever. Madison Bumgarner appears to be blowing fewer snotrockets this season, when compared to previous seasons. Giants fans took notice on Twitter:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2015-04-16-Twitter

 

Wherefore art thou snotrockets, Bumgarner? Bring back, oh bring back, bring back my snotrockets to meeeee…yeah okay I’ll stop now.

Madison Bumgarner’s next start should be Wednesday, April 22, 2015 at home vs. the Los Angeles Dodgers (eeuww). See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting snotrocket action.

Few And Far Between Snotrockets

 

Madison Bumgarner’s second outing of the 2015 season was short in innings and short on snotrockets. A lose-lose situation all the way around.

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Saturday, April 11, 2015 on the road vs. the San Diego Padres:

 

  • L, 3.0 IP, 10 H, 5 R, 5 ER, 0 BB, 4 K, 2 SNR (snotrockets): 0 vs. lefties, 2 vs. righties, 0 other.
  • Bumgarner now with 7 snotrockets so far in the 2015 season.
  • This game’s total of 2 SNR (snotrockets) is the fewest amount of SNR that Bumgarner has blown since 9/13/13 (1 SNR vs. Dodgers).

 

Snotrocket screencapper @SanDiegoGiants attended the game and got some in-person snotrocket shots. Here’s one early on in the game:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2015-04-11-1

 

And one impressionistic decapitated snotrocket:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2015-04-11

 

Madison Bumgarner’s next start should be Thursday, April 16, 2015 at home vs. the Arizona Diamondbacks. See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting snotrocket action.

2015 Opening Day Snotrockets

 

Nothing signifies Opening Day better for the San Francisco Giants than a well-placed snotrocket.

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Monday, April 6, 2015 on the road vs. the Arizona Diamondbacks:

  • W, 7.0 IP, 6 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 3 K, 2 HBP, 5 SNR (snotrockets): 1 vs. lefties, 2 vs. righties, 2 other.
  • Madison Bumgarner’s most prolific inning was the 1st in which he blew 2 snotrockets.
  • Bumgarner now with 5 snotrockets so far in 2015.

So as we give thanks for Madison Bumgarner’s glorious snotrockets we must also give thanks to @SanDiegoGiants  for the glorious snotrocket screencaps that he posts on Twitter. Here’s the first Bumgarner snotrocket of the 2015 season:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2015-04-06

Another snotrocket from the 1st inning:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2015-04-06-1

Bumgarner’s first at-bat snotrocket of the 2015 season:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2015-04-06-2

Last snotrocket of the game:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2015-04-06-3

Also during the game @SanDiegoGiants took note of the new Pace of Game rules that MLB has established and gave them a Bumgarner twist:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2015-04-06-Pace Of Game

Madison Bumgarner’s next start should be this Saturday, April 11, 2015 on the road vs. the San Diego Padres. See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting snotrocket action.

2014 Snotrockets In Review

 

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2014 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

The concert hall at the Sydney Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 18,000 times in 2014. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 7 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.

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