Braves, Birds and Snotrockets

 

Items in blog post title not listed in order of importance.

Snotrockets were in the air. Birds were on the field. Giants bats were connecting with baseballs. All of the above came together in a magical mixture of excellence and another Bumgarner win.

The San Francisco Giants closed out their 3 game series at home against the Atlanta Braves today. Madison Bumgarner was on the mound. Some good luck charms were behind home plate:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-08-28-Tweet-FL

 

One Bumgarner bird fan:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-08-28-Tweet-Bird

 

Two Bumgarner bird fans:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-08-28-Bird-1

 

After a while the beneficial birds were on the move:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-08-28-Tweet-Bird-FL-1

 

Later on in the game the Giants exploded with multiple triples and home runs:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-08-28-Tweet-Bird-2

 

Enough with the birds. Bring on the snotrockets.

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Sunday, August 28, 2016 at home vs. the Atlanta Braves:

 

  • W, 7.0 IP, 5 H, 3 R, 3 ER, 2 BB, 5 K, 1 HR, 4 SNR (snotrockets): 0 vs. lefties, 4 vs. righties, 0 other. 1 double SNR.
  • Madison Bumgarner’s most prolific inning was the 3rd in which he blew 2 snotrockets.
  • Madison Bumgarner now with 200 snotrockets in the 2016 season.
  • Bumgarner blew his 200th snotrocket of the season at exactly 2:25 PM. It was a double.

 

With so few snotrockets being blown today industrious snotrocket screencapper @SanDiegoGiants had little material to work with but he made the most of what flew through the air. Top of the 3rd snotrocket:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-08-28-1

 

A crowd-pleasing double snotrocket was blown in the top of the 5th inning. First the left nostril:
Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-08-28-Double-Left Nostril

 

And then the right nostril:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-08-28-Double-Right Nostril

 

Bonus Bumgarner screencaps – choose your weapons edition:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-08-28-Duel Challenge-Tweet

 

Eye wipe edition:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-08-28-Tweet-Eye Wipe

 

Eye wipe closeups in sequential order because you know you want them:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-08-28-Eye Wipe-1

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-08-28-Eye Wipe-2

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-08-28-Eye Wipe-3

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-08-28-Eye Wipe-4

 

Itchy teeth edition:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-08-28-Tooth Pick-Tweet

 

Madison Bumgarner’s next start should be next Saturday, September 3, 2016 on the road vs. the Chicago Cubs. See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting snotrocket action.

Spider 2 Y Banana Snotrockets

 

Sometimes San Francisco Giants broadcaster Mike Krukow says things that I don’t understand:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-08-23-Tweet-FL-Spider 2 Y Banana

 

I was afraid I was hallucinating but it wasn’t just me:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-08-23-Tweet-FL-Spider 2 Y Banana-1

 

Eventually I made Google my friend:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-08-23-Tweet-FL-Spider 2 Y Banana-2

 

Later on Madison came up to bat with runners on base:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-08-23-Tweet-FL-Spider 2 Y Banana-3

 

 

But no West Coast offense play was necessary as Bumgarner struck out. Sigh.

Also, this is what comes up when you Google ‘spider 2 y banana‘:

Gruden-Spider 2 Y Banana

 

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Tuesday, August 23, 2016 on the road vs. the Los Angeles Dodgers (eeuuww):

 

  • L, 5.0 IP, 9 H, 5 R, 5 ER, 1 BB, 7 K, 1 HR, 5 SNR (snotrockets): 1 vs. lefties, 2 vs. righties, 2 other. 1 double pump SNR. 1 double SNR.
  • Madison Bumgarner’s most prolific inning was the 1st in which he blew 2 snotrockets.
  • Madison Bumgarner now with 196 snotrockets in the 2016 season.

 

America’s premier snotrocket screencapper @SanDiegoGiants didn’t let yet another Giants loss affect him. He was hard at work tonight, capturing Bumgarner’s essence for all to treasure. Impressionistic snotrocket from the 1st inning:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-08-23-Blurry-Tweet

 

Also in the 1st inning – a rare double pump snotrocket (2 blows, one nostril). First pump:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-08-23-Double Pump-1

 

And the second pump:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-08-23-Double Pump-2

 

Bottom of the 3rd all tied up snotrocket:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-08-23-1-Tweet

 

Bottom of the 4th snotrocket:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-08-23-2

 

Bonus Bumgarner screencap – wedgie pick edition:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-08-23-Wedgie Pick

 

It just wasn’t Mr. Bumgarner’s night, pitching-wise. But that’s all right because we had snotrockets and another personal favorite – MadBum fury:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-08-23-Tweet-FL-Yells

 

You know what I don’t love though? That team in Chavez Latrine:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-08-23-Tweet-FL-Holy Water-Linda Blair

 

I don’t take losing to the Dodgers very well:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-08-23-Tweet-FL-Color Blue

 

Really don’t take it well at all:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-08-23-Tweet-FL-Blue Clothing

 

Madison Bumgarner’s next start should be Sunday, August 28, 2016 at home vs. the Atlanta Braves. See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting snotrocket action.

Of Taters And Snotrockets

 

Madison Bumgarner won tonight. Madison Bumgarner hit another home run tonight. Madison Bumgarner blew snotrockets tonight. Madison Bumgarner was God tonight.

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Thursday, August 18, 2016 at home vs. the New York Mets:

 

  • W, 5.0 IP, 6 H, 4 R, 4 ER, 3 BB, 6 K, 1 HR, 4 SNR (snotrockets): 1 vs. lefties, 1 vs. righties, 2 other. 1 double SNR. 1 at-bat SNR.
  • Madison Bumgarner’s most prolific inning was the 3rd in which he blew 2 snotrockets.
  • Bumgarner now with 191 snotrockets in the 2016 season.

 

For most of tonight’s game Bumgarner’s favorite snotrocket screencapper @SanDiegoGiants was on assignment, causing mild panic in this snotrocket tallier. I mean, can you think of anything more boring than a snotrocket blog post with no snotrocket pics? Thankfully though he saved the day and captured some of Bumgarner’s proboscis production post-game. One snotrocket from the 3rd inning:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-8-18

 

And 2 minutes later in the same inning:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-08-18-1

 

Because I can’t embed videos here unless I pay for the privilege of doing so and because it’s far too expensive for the privilege of doing so I can’t show you a video of Bumgarner’s home run but I can show you a very grainy gif of said home run, hit off of the Mets’ Jacob deGrom:

Giants-2016-08-18-vs Mets-Bumgarner-Home Run

 

And for the actual video of Bumgarner’s home run: Click on this here orange link.

For Giants fans not enough can ever be said about Madison Bumgarner’s prowess at the plate. Others were quite impressed as well tonight:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-08-18-Tweet-BBTN-Home Run

 

Yeah it’s not even close:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-08-18-Tweet-ESPNStatsInfo

 

Sorry about it Trout.

 

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-08-18-Tweet-JoeTrezz-Bumgarner-Trout

 

Bonus screencap: The following has absolutely nothing to do with Madison Bumgarner or the Giants game tonight. It just happened on Twitter and made me laugh so much I’m including it here:

Tweets-FL-IAJ-Brian Wilson-2016

 

Closeup shot of a Brian Wilson in the wild , courtesy of Giants fan @AuthenticGiants:

Giants-Wilson-Hippie-Tie Dye-2016-08

 

Madison Bumgarner’s next start should be Tuesday, August 23, 2016 on the road vs. the Los Angeles Dodgers (eeuuww). See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting snotrocket action.

Doppelgänger Snotrockets

 

The San Francisco Giants played the Baltimore Orioles tonight so it was the Orange and Black vs. the Orange and Black. It could be a little confusing at first glance:

Tweets-FL-Giants-Orioles-2016

 

Also causing bewilderment for me – the Giants offense showed up for Bumgarner:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-08-13-Tweet-FL-1

 

I worried about the effect all those runs might have on Madison:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-08-13-Tweet-FL-2

 

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Saturday, August 13, 2016 at home vs. the Baltimore Orioles:

 

  • W, 7.0 IP, 3 H, 3 BB, 0 R, 0 ER, 8 K, 8 SNR (snotrockets): 1 vs. lefties, 1 vs. righties, 6 other. 1 pre-game SNR. 2 at-bat SNR.
  • Madison Bumgarner’s most prolific innings were the 2nd and 4th in which he blew 2 snotrockets per inning.
  • Bumgarner now with 187 snotrockets in the 2016 season.

 

Thank goodness @SanDiegoGiants wasn’t flabbergasted by the Giants actually producing runs for Bumgarner and was able to keep his cool and screencap some snotrockets from tonight’s game.  This first one is an illegal snotrocket since it wasn’t shown on television and thus cannot be included in today’s snotrocket tally. However I would never ignore a felonious Bumgarner snotrocket because they’re too beautiful to disregard:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-08-13-1-Tweet-SDG

 

Yeah that’s right I referred to a snotrocket as beautiful COME AT ME BRO

I mean…here’s another snotrocket, a legal one from the 6th inning:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-08-13-2

 

Valid snotrocket from the 7th inning:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-08-13-3

 

Bonus Bumgarner screencap – Saturday Night Loogie edition:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-08-13-Loogie

 

Earlier this season the Giants celebrated Lego Day at AT&T Park by showing off a work of art – A Madison Bumgarner Lego statue, seen here with his real life counterpart:

Giants-Bumgarner-Lego Statue-2016

 

During tonight’s TV broadcast of the game they showed the Bumgarner Lego statue at the ballpark and just the sight of it was enough to incite thoughts of vandalism for one Giants fan:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-08-13-Tweet-IAJ

 

Also while I was searching for pics of the Bumgarner Lego statue I came across this one which I don’t remember ever seeing before:

Giants-Bumgarner-Ox-Ax-Paul Bunyan-Tweet

 

Madison Bumgarner’s next start should be Thursday, August 18, 2016 at home vs. the New York Mets. See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting snotrocket action.

Capital Snotrockets

 

The San Francisco Giants were in Washington D.C. this weekend and today they closed out a 3 game series against the Nationals. Madison Bumgarner was on the mound and only one thing was on my mind:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-08-07-Tweet-FL

 

As it turned out I had nothing to worry about. The snotrockets were flowing today. The runs however were not. Madison Bumgarner took yet another severely undeserved loss this afternoon. Bumgarner went the distance, giving up only 2 hits and 1 run. Unfortunately his teammates chose to show their appreciation for Madison’s magnificence by getting only 5 hits and scoring 0 runs. By my unscientific calculations that makes today the 873rd game this season that the Giants have managed to not score a single run in a Bumgarner start. Sad.

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Sunday, August 7, 2016 on the road vs. the Washington Nationals:

 

  • L, 8.0 IP, 2 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 2 BB, 7 K, 1 HR, 8 SNR (snotrockets): 0 vs. lefties, 4 vs. righties, 4 other. 1 glove SNR. 1 double SNR.
  • Madison Bumgarner’s most prolific innings were the 1st, 6th and 8th in which he blew 2 snotrockets per inning.
  • Madison Bumgarner now with 179 snotrockets in the 2016 season.

 

Most always if there are Bumgarner snotrockets then there are Bumgarner snotrocket screencaps; today was no exception. To show his appreciation of Bumgarner’s excellence @SanDiegoGiants captured some of Bumgarner’s nasal masterpieces and shared them with the world. Glove snotrocket in the 1st inning:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-08-07-1-Tweet

 

Also in the 1st inning:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-08-07-Tweet-SDG-Coffee Morning

 

With so few Bumgarner snotrockets being blown lately there’s been little opportunity for the special ones. That changed today when we got one of my personal favorites, the double snotrocket. First the left nostril:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-08-07-Double-Left

 

 

And then the right nostril:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-08-07-Double-Right

 

A couple of snotrockets from the 6th inning:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-08-07-2

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-08-07-3

 

99 problems and a snotrocket ain’t one of them:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-08-07-4

 

Bumgarner went the distance in today’s game. So too did his snotrockets. His teammates? Not so much:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-08-07-5

 

Bonus Bumgarner screencaps – Annoying Mascot edition:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-08-07-Mascot-Screech

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-08-07-Mascot-Screech-1

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-08-07-Mascot-Screech-2

 

Fakeout Nose Scratch edition:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-08-07-Tweet-SDG-Nose Scratch

 

Double Glove Wipe edition:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-08-07-Tweet-SDG-Double Glove Wipe

 

Hazards of Snotrocket Blogging While Watching The Walking Dead Marathon edition :

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-08-07-Tweet-FL-TWD Marathon

 

Happy trails edition:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-08-07-Tweet-SDG

 

 

Madison Bumgarner’s next start should be Saturday, August 13, 2016 at home vs.the Baltimore Orioles. Orange and Black vs. Orange and Black. My money’s on the Orange and Black. See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting snotrocket action.

Apocalyptic Snotrockets

 

Signs that the end of the world is near:

  1. Madison Bumgarner had a bad game.
  2. A fan got ejected for heckling an umpire.
  3. Meager amount of snotrockets.

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Tuesday, August 2, 2016 on the road vs. the Philadelphia Phillies:

 

  • ND, 5.0 IP, 10 H, 8 R, 4 ER, 2 BB, 4 K, 2 HR, 3 SNR (snotrockets): 0 vs. lefties, 1 vs. righties, 2 other.
  • Madison Bumgarner’s most prolific innings were the 2nd, 5th and 6th in which he blew 1 snotrocket per inning.
  • Bumgarner now with 171 snotrockets in the 2016 season.

 

Even though there were so few snotrockets in today’s game bathroom savior and snotrocket screencapper @SanDiegoGiants still managed to capture some SNRs to ease the pain of Giants fans and give them something to feel good about. Comely snotrocket from the 5th inning:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-08-02-Tweet

 

Bob-Davidson-can-suck-it snotrocket from the 6th inning:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-08-02-1

 

Madison Bumgarner’s next start should be this Sunday, August 7, 2016 on the road vs. the Washington nationals. See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting snotrocket action.

One last thing about that heckling incident in tonight’s game:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-08-02-Tweet-JFK

Snotrockets For Naught

 

The weather is hot. The Giants are not.

Madison Bumgarner proved two things today:

  1. He’s still the Snotrocket King.
  2. His teammates are unworthy of his greatness.

Bumgarner pitched another beauty of a game, going 8 innings and giving up only 1 earned run and the other Giants could only watch and whimper. The most they could give their exalted starting pitcher was an undeserved loss. For shame San Francisco Giants, for shame.

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Wednesday, July 27, 2016 at home vs. the Cincinnati Reds:

 

  • L, 8.0 IP, 5 H, 2 R, 1 ER, 0 BB, 9 K, 1 HR, 5 SNR (snotrockets): 1 vs. L, 3 vs. R, 1 other.
  • Madison Bumgarner blew 1 snotrocket in the 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th and 8th innings respectively.
  • Bumgarner now with 168 snotrockets in the 2016 season.

 

Unfortunately @SanDiegoGiants was on assignment and didn’t produce any snotrocket screencaps. So this is going to be one short boring blog post.

Madison Bumgarner’s next start should be Tuesday, August 2, 2016 on the road vs. the Philadelphia Phillies. See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting snotrocket action.

That’s it. That’s all there is for this one. What? Why are you still reading this? Come on.

Reaction Shots-Ferris Bueller-You're Still Here

Reaction Shots-Ferris Bueller-It's Over

Let There Be Snotrockets

 

In the beginning Madison Bumgarner created the inning and the game. And the game was without mucus, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the baseball diamond. And the spirit of Bumgarner moved upon the face of the ballpark. And Bumgarner said, let there be snotrockets: and there were snotrockets. And Bumgarner saw the snotrockets, and they were good.

Finally we had snotrockets. FINALLY. After going through an 11 inning snotrocket (thru 3 games) drought Madison Bumgarner broke free of the nasal handcuffs and blew some snotrockets tonight. After the first 4 innings of tonight’s game went by and nary a snotrocket was seen I was a little concerned:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-07-22-Tweet-FL

 

But then in the 5th inning

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-07-22-Tweet-FL-1

 

After the worst snotrocket drought ever witnessed Madison Bumgarner moistened up and let the secretions fly. I once again have a reason to live.

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Friday, July 22, 2016 on the road vs. the New York Yankees:

 

  • ND, 7.0 IP, 7 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 3 BB, 6 K, 2 SNR (snotrockets): 0 vs. lefties, 0 vs. righties, 2 other.
  • Madison Bumgarner’s most prolific innings were the 5th and 6th in which he blew 1 snotrocket per inning.
  • Bumgarner now with 163 snotrockets in the 2016 season.

 

Bumgarner’s nose drought over the past several games left @SanDiegoGiants with zero material to work with. In fact he was so desperate during Bumgarner’s last dry start that he screencapped a random body part:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-07-22-Elbow

 

 

But like the champ that he is Madison came through in tonight’s game and so did everyone’s favorite snotrocket screencapper. From the 5th inning:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-07-22

 

In the 6th inning:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-07-22-1

 

Aren’t they beautiful? [cries]

Madison Bumgarner’s next start should be Wednesday, July 27. 2016 at home vs. the Cincinnati Reds. See you here or on Twitter for all the snotrocket action.

Sign of the Snotrocketalypse

 

One outing. No snotrockets. End times.

The first recorded outing of Madison Bumgarner where he started a game and produced zero snotrockets on camera. None. Nada. Zilch. This was a terrible night.

When the first couple of innings went by and no snotrockets appeared I wasn’t too worried because sooner or later Bumgarner always comes through with some nasal beauties. But as the game progressed and still no snotrockets were blown you could witness my growing Panik panic on Twitter:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-07-15-Tweet-FL

—–

 

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-07-15-Tweet-FL-1

—–

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-07-15-Tweet-FL-3

—–

 

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-07-15-Tweet-FL-4

—–

 

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-07-15-Tweet-FL-5

—–

 

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-07-15-Tweet-FL-6

 

 

Here are Madison Bumgarner’s snotrocket totals and other vital statistics for Friday, July 15, 2016 on the road vs. the San Diego Padres:

 

  • L, 6.0 IP, 7 H, 4 R, 4 ER, 1 BB, 9 K, 2 HR, 0 SNR (snotrockets): 0 vs. L, 0 vs. R, 0 other.
  • Madison Bumgarner’s most prolific inning didn’t happen because there weren’t any freaking snotrockets blown.
  • Madison Bumgarner still with 161 snotrockets in the 2016 season.

 

Even though there were no official (on camera) snotrockets recorded in tonight’s game America’s favorite snotrocket screencapper @SanDiegoGiants still captured a couple because he was at the game. Sneaky snotrocket:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-07-15-Tweet-SanDiegoGiants

 

Sneaky snotrocket #2:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-07-15-1-Tweet

 

@SanDiegoGiants partner in crime @Iamjerklord tried her hand at snotrocket screencapping, with mixed results:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-07-15-2-Tweet

 

Bonus Bumgarner screencaps – fowl edition #1:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-07-15-Bird

 

Fowl edition #2:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-07-15-Tweet-SanDiegoGiants-Bird

 

Snotrocket screencapper on safari edition:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-07-15-Tweet-SanDiegoGiants-In The Wild

 

HE CAN SEE ME edition:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-07-15-Tweet-IAmJerklord

 

The best tandem in baseball edition:

Giants-Bumgarner-Snotrocket-2016-07-15-Posey-Bumgarner-1

 

Madison Bumgarner’s next start should be Friday, July 22, 2016 on the road vs. the New York Yankees. See you here or on Twitter for all the exciting snotrocket action.

Please God, let there be snotrockets. Amen.

2016 All Star Game Snotrockets

 

There weren’t any.

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